The Joy In Cooking For Others

“Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to others”

-Gautama Buddha

Before I start this article, I want to thank all the chefs and colleagues who took part in writing down a simple message that relates to the topic in discussion. These statements are what they feel when they cook for others. Thank you amigos.

"Originally, when I first started cooking, I would always aim for the compliments, Wow! This is amazing! or This is the best meal I’ve ever had! The longer I continued in my career, the more I realized that I didn’t care much to receive compliments. When I began cooking just to hear silence in the dining room, the more I got in touch with myself. This is when I finally realized what real good food is. When an entire table is caught up in all their emotions, they are speechless. This is what I strive for.”-Gus Montes, Tanuki Miami @someguycooking

“Cooking is expressing myself, through the food and flavors while watching everyone’s face upon taking their first bite. When they have the “Ahhh” moment is what makes me enjoy what I do. As a chef, it’s trying to find ways to make people remember their childhood memories or just a time when they found something unique. This is the true joy of cooking.”-Edwin Leon, Caviar Russe Miami @Edwinleonduran

“Cooking for others is the only reason I do what I do. I cook to nourish people and make them happy while bringing back food memories and creating new ones.” Zack Roth, Private & Celebrity Chef @soigneyo

Cooking is where one can express his/her creativity, skills and personality. It is a labor of love where you have to spend a lot of time, effort and discipline to create something good. The best part is watching people enjoy your food. It makes all the effort worthwhile.” Zack Pham, L’Atelier De Joel Robuchon Miami @zackpham5

“There are several aspects of cooking, both at home and in the professional setting that endlessly bring me happiness. While it’s true that the feeling of watching someone enjoy the fruits of your labor is a major serotonin boost, there’s also a self- satisfying element to it. I love exploring every aspect of cooking. I love conceptualizing a meal or a dish in my mind and then execute it. The experience you give someone through cooking has a deeper element to it. I know the feeling of tasting something wonderful, and if I can provide those feelings to others, well then, what else do I need to feel satisfaction? “ Tim Katz, @katzt22

“Cooking takes on a more philosophical approach. It's not actually about the cooking process, it's not about the amount of prep it takes to make the best possible dish, it's not about the countless hours worked to perfect or replicate the process. For me, it's about channeling an art. I was given the gift of passion for food. I’m here to channel that same gift to clients, family, friends and loved ones. I can relate this, for instance, to a musical instrument. Like a musician, I polish and fine tune recipes, hone my craft to the best of my ability so in turn, people get to hear the instrument of my choice. Through this training, you understand what good and bad music can sound like. It has brought me great joy to have developed a unique instrument that can be played none other than by myself. The ultimate dish is to be served on a table with a loved one, no matter what the dish is, that moment of time is where we get to play our music. I feel eternally grateful to be able to cook food for people, the gift is truly about transferring my passion to them. That's how I feel when I cook for others.” Eric Weaver, Private Chef & Consultant @chefericweaver

The Joy

Sugar, spice and everything nice, these are the ingredients chosen to create the perfect supper, but a chef accidentally added an extra ingredient in the concoction, love. Thus, the perfect gathering. A gathering where everyone is enjoying and delights on the quality of the moment being spent.

To the people, it’s just a dinner, but to the one(s) who took the effort to marry flavors and ingredients, to the one(s) who sweat and spent time to create, it was a fulfilling gesture. A gesture where joy knows no bounds and as it ripples like water and multiply, so does the people around him/her feel the happiness.

I took this introduction from a famous cartoon back in the early 2000’s. If you are not familiar, then you might have to check out what Power Puff Girls is. Well, I didn’t foresee myself cooking when I was younger. I loved music and always will. Music gave me happiness that was satisfying as a child. When I got older, I was able to take my skills to the next level and it became a way for me to show my creativity. Cooking didn’t start the same way. It took me years to learn and master my craft. But once I got the hang of it, it elevated my love language, which is serving others. For me, cooking for others ascends me to a higher vantage point, like the sun, where I can see everybody’s smile and from there, I can tell that I’m doing something good.

The Different Types of Cooking

Cooking, if done out of love, is satisfying. The act adorns a sense of caring and nurturing. We naturally care for the people we love; it is our way of life. We love to do something for them and see them happy. It doesn’t stop there. We nurture the people around us, making them feel important and support them to bring out the best version of themselves. It is that one thing that can deliver these results and its effects are instant or immediate. The moment they taste something that you came up with, they just close their eyes and nod their heads right away. In their minds, all the good hormones, memories and endorphins collide with each other, creating an ultra-euphoric sensation that heightens and dulls the senses at the same time. There is no word to describe it. That’s the reason why people are speechless when they take a bit of something so surreal and sublime, because the mind cannot pin-point or nit-pick all the conundrum that’s happening in our heads one by one. As chefs, we delight in seeing people “suffer” in a good way.

To further understand the satisfaction behind cooking, let me share to you the different categories of cooking that I think, benefits an individual according to his/her arrangement:

1.) Cooking at A Professional Level

2.) Cooking For Friends and Family

3.) Cooking For Charity

Cooking at A Professional Level

I consider cooking at a professional level as any type of cooking that involves getting compensated. A chef has a client (or clients) and renders his/her services.

The wonderful thing about cooking is that it is a profession that does not look at your educational background. It doesn’t matter whether a chef carries a degree in culinary or whether he/she just started out at an early age and worked their way from the ground up. These chefs who took the leap of fate to master their craft and are now cooking at an establishment where people can pay a visit, sit down and enjoy, are pouring out their love and sacrificing their own time to make others feel loved. Mind you, chefs who cook at a professional level spend at least 40-60 hours at work. They devote their time working rather than spending time with family. The satisfaction they get from getting distinguished by food guides is enough to persevere. Some don’t want any awards at all as long as the establishment gets packed and there’s a line outside. When you see that the fruit of your labor is paying off, as a chef, it gives you a purpose in life. I have been cooking professionally for about 8-9 years. Seeing people enjoy and compliment my team encourages and motivates me. So when you dine out the next time, always compliment the chef when it is due. Be sincere about your praises.

If you are seeking to find an example of a chef who continually delights in cooking for others, head over to a restaurant called Pata Negra Jamon Iberico Restaurant along the Miami River. The Chef and Owner comes out of the kitchen and touches all the tables in his restaurant. This man is young at heart, he delights in talking to his customers, thanking them for coming out to have supper at his spot. His genuine approach to his guests is what makes people come back, of course, the food is wonderful as well. I want to be like him when I get old, he embodies my image of what a retired Stanley will be, full of jokes, who laughs a lot and who loves conversing.

There was a time in my career that my business partner (who is also a dear friend of mine) and I took over a restaurant. It was a family-owned sushi thai spot that has stood the test of time. They had gradually deteriorated but people still come because the restaurant has been part of their childhood. They have had the same clientele for years and years now and when we took over to manage, we started meeting these people. These guests, or should I say family members, got to know us and in turn, we got to know them. I remember a family with a really sweet kid who wanted to spend his summer break working for us. His mom kept on boosting our spirits to keep on persevering. She would always tell us that we were doing something different, in a good way, and that people noticed. Her words were like fuel to our cause.

Aside from cooking at a hotel, restaurant or at a banquet event, there are colleagues who cook for individual families, private gigs or pop ups. These chefs focus their energy on a much manageable group of people and schedule. As I mention in my previous article, aside from being a full-time executive sous chef, I enjoy hosting private dinners because of its inherent intimate nature. There is magic that happens when you focus on a single group and shower them all your love while they see you at your best. Drinking with them while cooking is a bonus. These chefs find joy in seeing their clients’ kids grow (if they last long enough in a job) for example, or if they start to have repeating clients who avail of their services. I have heard stories where affluent bosses showered blessings to their private chefs, like giving them a house or a car. If you love what you do and you make people happy, love pays you back in the most unexpected ways.

There will come to a point when chefs get burned out cooking for a company or for the people they don’t even know. This is normal for a chef to encounter along the way. I have felt this too at some point and it made me think about quitting, until I realized this next point that helped me get back on track.

Cooking For Friends and Family

Cooking for friends and family is the soul-saving medicine. It doesn’t work for everybody, but to some it is therapeutic. If you really are a cook at heart, then you find joy in cooking for your family. It realigns your thoughts and resets you as you focus on only the people who you love dearly. What is better than an entire family sitting on the dining table, exchanging stories and having fun? I sure miss that. I thank my parents for instilling a spirit of communal dining when I was younger. During those times that we dined together as a family, you can really feel the love and the spirit of oneness. Your family members might be the toughest judges in terms of the quality of what you can whip up, but if you capture their hearts, then you get the support and love that you deserve. If you don’t, then there’s always another day to impress them. This will carry on as you get older and it bonds you stronger. Every time I feel that I am getting burnt out, I just cook something simple and homey, something that feeds both the appetite and the soul. This resets you and nothing can’t be solved over a bowl of hot chicken noodle soup and a family member or your spouse to talk to. How many parents or kids still think about the day(s) when they baked something together? Isn’t it an umami-packed nostalgic & photographic memory or memories of one’s childhood or parenthood? My sisters do that with their kids, my mom did it to us when we were younger. The feelings and the emotions every time we reminisce are so intense that you can’t even put a word to it. You just smile instantly when you remember because those were special moments. These moments, as I mentioned before, nurture you. Some or most of a kid’s character is built/created over at supper. This is the reason why kids who grow up full of love tend to become wonderful and effective citizens. We don’t notice it, but cooking does this to our family members. It is important for parents to nurture their kids at the dining table and leave them with good childhood memories.

Cooking for Charity

There is chef, who at the very moment he heard news that something unfortunate was occurring somewhere, he immediately told his friends that he needed to fly to that place and give aid to the people. This guy is so successful and popular that he could have just said, it’s none of my business or I can send over my team to take care of this, and not worry about leaving the party that he was in. But instead, he left abruptly, leaving behind his puzzled friends to journey to the unknown and help people that he didn’t even know.

His name is Jose Andres. The most charitable chef in the entire world. His charity is remarkable. This is the reason why he is so successful, because he does it not for the money, but to help people out. When you are at a point in life where your purpose transcends to a different calling other than just running an empire and making sure that all the families who rely on you for a living is no longer your main focus, then you have reached the pinnacle of success. Giving back to the community is an agenda for each and every successful businessman or figure. Jose Andres helps out people who are suffering or are in dire need of assistance, take for example the current situation with Ukraine and Russia. Jose went to Ukraine to feed the refugees who fled the war. He could’ve been assassinated or get stuck in between the two fighting parties, but he took his team with him and started feeding the victims. Imagine the worry he gave his wife when he left? I would’ve been scared. But realize the relief and thankfulness of the people who get to see him help out of his willingness, the support and hope that he gives to them, money can’t put a price to it. His family must be so proud of him. If I were Jose’s parents, I would thank the Lord for having a son with a big heart. These people continue to get blessings because they share these blessings to everybody.

Massimo Bottura is another example of a chef who does charity work. He is at the front line of making sure that food doesn’t go to waste by hosting classes for kids and elderly, raising awareness. More and more chefs are jumping the bandwagon. Think about this, when we all leave one day, we can’t bring everything with us, that is why we need to make sure that once we start achieving our goals and purpose(s) in life, we need to start giving back to the community. It is the only way for us to keep ourselves grounded and motivated.

I salute chefs who are doing charity work on a consistent basis. It doesn’t matter whether the charity work is as grand or immense as Jose’s or just feeding five to ten people without asking for anything in return, once you help somebody, it changes the world around you.

I promise myself to do the same thing in the future. I am very fond of young kids, I want to nurture them and shape their character so they will be effective and wonderful adults. And even If there’s only one out of a hundred kids that comes back to me in the future saying, "Thank you, you changed my life for the better.” then I know that I did my part well.

In Essence

In any form or set up, cooking is a universal language that benefits everyone around us. We cook to make others happy, we cook to make others feel loved and most importantly, we cook to make others feel that they have a sense of belongingness. When people appreciate what you cook and serve, it gives you purpose and drive. An impetus that you can’t seem to stop doing and the only way is to keep on pushing forward because for as long as they smile and delight in what you do, the more you feel satisfaction that money can never buy.

So, to my fellow chefs, wherever you are in your career or in life, despite the tedious road ahead, despite the countless hours that we invest in our craft, despite the tears of dismay or disappointment, keep on striving and persevere. For people need us, people constantly seek for our genuine sympathy that starts with a bowl of chicken noodle soup. Not a lot of profession can do the same effect to an individual the way we give them. Bankers can’t give the same happiness to their clients. Our labor of love is at its purest form, contagious and sincere. It is something that people will keep on coming back for.