When You Get Past A Life Crisis
My twenties was tumultuous—full of internal battles, conflicts and mental lacerations that led to an unfortunate youthful phase full of worries. It went by so fast that by the time I was able to react to it, I found myself celebrating an age that even a calendar wouldn’t dare include on its face. When you overthink and are afraid of failure, it consumes you. You strive not to make mistakes, and yet, with all the effort, it makes you even more prone to failing. I make it a laughing joke among my family that stress made me look older than anyone else. It’s no joke, I’m not going to lie, I doubted myself and was frustrated that I had to start from the ground up to make a life here in America. Despite saying that it was an easy climb up (in my previous articles), of course, it doesn’t literally mean that I had a good time doing it or the path was paved in gold to get to where I am right now. No, I had to endure a quarter life crisis that I thought I would never outgrow.
A Life Crisis Looming
I define it as a period of intense worrying, doubting and hopelessness. Similar to depression, it may last for months or years and it seems like something is constantly bothering you, like a problem you can’t solve and you start to resort to any sort of solutions to no avail. Questions like, “where will I be in the next couple of years?”, “will I be able to even pay rent next month?”, “did I choose the right career and should I even be here?” or “when will success and financial stability come upon me?” These are questions lingered for a long time in my head because they tackle what my future will be. As a forward thinking individual, it dawned on me that contemplating about the future too much drains you of your youth. Who knows what will happen? The only important thing is that let it unfold and persist, believing in yourself.
An Achievement
A couple of years passed and here I am, writing this article to celebrate a triumph that has bewildered and tormented the lives of men for centuries. Have you ever heard of the saying, “A man’s ego is as fragile as a woman’s heart?” It is true as the sun rises from the east and sets to the west. In context, I’m not talking about ego as a form of self-admiration or narcissism. What I’m pertaining to is an invincible thread of hope or a battery source that men hold on to, to fuel their persistence, drive and pride to become successful. A man who has the entire world behind to support him can move mountains to impossible distances, but take away his assurance to be successful and pollute his mindset and you will see that he will rot from the inside. I’ve heard and witnessed countless men whose dreams were crushed by the very people who should have been uplifting them—some took twenty to thirty years to recover, some didn’t.
How does victory feel? While there is varying degree and perception of what victory defines, in my case, I started to appreciate my lifestyle, how much joy my career brings to people, how blessed I am to be living comfortably while being able to sleep well at night knowing that I am serving and inspiring people. These happened gradually, it took time. Having internal peace with myself knowing that I don’t cause any harm to other people also contributes a lot to how I define myself as victorious. Instead of passing on to people the same polluted mindset that I had when I was at my worst, I advise them to do good in everything they engage into. Gone are the days when my moods (yes, I have a lot of them) swing like a giant church bell, left and right, causing unbearable noise the closer you are to the clapper. These things matter to me, I want to feel that I am inspiring people by serving them, this is how I show love, even if I don’t have any personal connection to the people I meet. I want to communicate with them through my hands and words.
It may be different for you, as it will vary depending on what your priorities are in life. Some will define success or triumph by measuring personal things, money, etc. Some measure it by how much love they are receiving or giving away. Whatever and however you measure victory, will vary depending on your personality and character— only you can determine what it is exactly.
A spec of light
When you surpass a life crisis, it’s as if the sky finally opens up and the rays of light touch your skin for the first time after a long while. It can also come in a form of relief, followed by a big and long “haaaaaaaaay.” There’s no better feeling than finding out that you have accomplished a deed, surpassed a phase and have stood the test of time. To those who have found life “again” for the second time around, then only good things will come to you. Nothing can faze you anymore. You should be proud of yourself for you did not let the darkest days chain you down, that you didn’t not succumb to the ways of men when they can’t cope with their situation—to blame everything or everyone else but themselves for their predicament.
Today, life is all about looking forward to my next vacation—to get inspired by it, enjoying my career and personal space, lifting the team that I work with to catapult us to a higher plane and to continue creating—whether music, food or through stories. I have a strong feeling that I will get what I want in life and where I want to be, and that is because I taught myself to stand up every time I fall. I am fortunate enough to have gone through these things at an early age, because I always believe that experiencing things while time is on your side has its advantages. You are a big wet sponge while you are young—able to absorb all the lessons from positive and negative experiences, and you become dry and brittle the older you get—unable to bend and adapt to the changes of time.
For those who have not experienced a life crisis, please do not make it an effort to seek for it. It is not a requirement or a precursor for you to become successful in life. It’s just that some people really do experience this phase before they are catapulted to greener pastures, and some, were able to work their way around it. Enjoy where you are right now and continue to anticipate a bright future ahead. But if ever you do find yourself in the middle of it, then you will find out what you are made of.