The Reality of Leaving Your Hometown
When there's a burning in your heart,
An endless fury in your heart
Build it bigger than the sun
Let it grow, Let it grow.
And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born, then, it's time to go
And you find your destination with so many different places to call home
'Cause when you find yourself a villain, In the story you have written, It's plain to see
That sometimes the best intentions, are in need of redemption
Would you agree?
-You Are A Tourist, Death Cab For Cutie
*By all means, before you read this article, please do listen to this song. To those who can relate, I hope you love where you are right now.
Recently, I have been seeing a lot of posts on Instagram regarding why you should leave your hometown and pursue a different city or country you can call home. I kind of want to write about this bold endeavor because aside from being able to relate to it, there’s an excitement to just share the insights of somebody who has traveled to carve his own path. The reasons combined, all boil down to you becoming a smarter and wiser individual who appreciates life more compared to those who have never left their hometown. Yes, it is fun, it’s wild and it can get out of hand. No, it’s not easy, it’s not an overnight adjustment and it does not go your way sometimes. I always knew when I was younger that I would be living internationally. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because of my chosen profession that brought me to my travels? How I miss youth- traveling for work, venturing into the unknown and meeting new people. I always felt kind of a tourist in the city where I was born, as the song suggests. I always had that sense of what if, in me. Instead of brushing the idea off, while time was still on my side, I took the chance. I traveled.
To those who left their hometown and ventured somewhere else, I salute you for being acquainted with more subway routes compared to most people. It’s a skill that comes valuable whenever you visit or comeback to those cities again. You have probably memorized more roads and streets since you’ve driven in or walked around more than one city. You know the go-to spots of locals and you enjoy the best hotdog sandwich that only few know about. What’s best about moving out is that you get to explore whether your city is awake late at night. Cities like New York, Miami and Hong Kong are some of the places I’ve been to that are nocturnal. There’s magic in being able to stay until 4:00am, wandering the streets and not get in trouble (Miami, the least safest). My younger years take me back to just sitting down with a friend, people- watching while we both have a bottle of something with us. Talking about life and where it will take us were the conversations that make you hope for the best.
Funny thing though is that the first time I came back to the Philippines after being away for three years, the longest that I’ve been away, it felt really weird. It was as if all my senses were telling me that I don’t belong there anymore. I felt like a tourist—that I’ve missed out on a lot of things and inside jokes that even my friends can’t even update me anymore. Yes, for sure, my friends were there for me, some places that we frequented were still there and it felt good to enjoy visiting them again and reminisce. It’s also good to have a laugh with all the family members, especially with my uncles who always giggle at my jokes that contain a lot of sexual innuendos. But after a couple of days or weeks, you soon find yourself itching to go back home. Ironically, home is not your hometown anymore. Home is where you think your life is. At first, I couldn’t believe what I was thinking. I’ve always wanted to retire in the Philippines and enjoy the fruits of my labor. It turns out that I don’t even want to think about retirement there anymore. Even my wife has had the same feelings towards where to live when we get old. Europe is now where we see ourselves settling down once our knees are too old to “dance” to the sound of life.
When there is a burning in your heart that needs to be satisfied because you know that you have to at least explore a different place, then while time is still on your side, you just do it. If you are in your 30’s, there’s nothing wrong with that either. It will only be complicated if you have a spouse or kids. But if you are single, who’s got nothing to lose, just do it. Moving out takes you out of your comfort zone and will force you to think, act and adjust. Let the fire burn bigger, because that’s the time you’ll know that your room is starting to become smaller, you get tired of seeing the same faces and get tired of eating the same things. Leave. There’s more to life than being familiar with only one neighborhood.
The reality of leaving your hometown means that you are letting go of familiar faces, routines and places in the hopes of exploring better alternatives that become your new benchmark. These explorations add up to your memory and will trigger new pathways to be created. You will store more life experiences that will become handy in the future. The younger you are, the easier the move is. It just feels like buttah. The older you get, the more doubt you have in your mind. But once you get the hang of it and are able to adjust, then you’ll slowly start to see that there are so many different places that you can call home. You will be attached to the cities that you live in (if things go well) and only remember the good things about that particular place that you can share with someone who share the same interest in traveling until it’s time to go again. It may be the hills of San Francisco, the winds of Chicago, the theme park-like set up of Singapore, the rawness and craziness of Hong Kong or the chill vibe of San Diego. You will fall in love and whenever somebody mentions the cities that you lived in, you just light up and participate in the conversation.
Not too long ago, my best-est buddy here in Miami flew out and took a risk in Portland. He hasn’t left Miami in his entire life, then decided to leave because he thought that this place was starting to become boring for him, that he wanted to take the risk and try something he’s never tried before. The day before I went to my Europe trip, I visited him at his workplace and surprised him with a bunch of Chinese take-out goods and gave him a really tight hug. I wouldn’t be able to see him anymore when I get back and for the short amount of time that I’ve spent working with him and got to know him, I really felt that I’ve found a brother. I’m sad to think about that he left but I’m also so proud of him because of this new chapter in his life. His girlfriend and him are going to do well, especially with his character. These memories add up to what my Miami is. Pretty soon, the bucket will be overflowing and it will be time to go. I’ve lived here for three years now, nearing four, soon. Despite the fact that I don’t miss the cold weather, and taxes are pretty decent here, I can’t help but wonder what’s on the other side of the ocean. Living in Paris or in Florence seems nice. It’s only a matter of convincing the wife. 😅