How Your Preferences Change As You Grow Old
It was about five p.m. on a friday evening when I tried to rush home from work thinking to myself, “how bad can Miami traffic be driving from the Beach?” As soon as I arrived, around six, compared to a fifteen minute no-traffic travel time, I scurry to transform into another persona while tying my apron around my waist like somebody who’s about to get on-stage and join the most gut-wrenching and toe-curling, time-sensitive cooking competition on tv.
“I have to be done in an hour,” I thought to myself.
Cooking dinner has been my second job after I get off of work. At seven, we eat and clean up. Eight thirty comes and I’m already in the shower, enjoying a hot and relaxing one. And by nine, I don’t even realize that I’m already releasing the loudest snore that can even startle a hibernating polar bear.
Enervated by the intricacies of aging, I used to think that something was wrong with me. The more I consulted with my cultured senior friends, the more I found out that feeling exhausted all the time is just, as they say, normal. Don’t be wronged, this article is not a rant about aging.
What a blessed life to have escaped from the chains of youth. Peer pressure doesn’t exist in the realm of adults anymore, at least for me. Gone are the days when I have to force myself to stay up late for the sake of camaraderie (the only exception is if there’s a nice bottle of Bordeaux or Cote Du Rhone wine involved). Being asleep at nine in the evening is something that I never fathomed to be a modern luxury. It wasn’t always like this, for I also indulged in the magic of the wee hours of the morning. There’s something phenomenal and extraordinary about staying late as a kid, hanging out with your friends and savoring every first time experience that you can garner. All the energy and drive that you have as a teenager cannot be put off—it has to be exhausted somewhere or in something. But as you age, you only exert effort in the endeavors that deem to be of importance.
What’s more profound, and that I find highly engaging, is that you start to notice that your preferences change as you become enlightened. If you’re curious about these intriguing changes, whether you want to justify if these are true statements or not, then allow me to expound.
These are some of the observations to be constantly changing in my life as I approach name day after name day.
Quality over quantity
First thing’s first, is that as you mature, you tend to gravitate towards the good quality of anything. It’s pretty common for flourishing people to elevate or improve their standard of living especially if there is an abundance of disposable income. You eventually to notice that you have been particularly drawn to soft, high quality Cashmere when clothing yourself that before didn’t seem to bother you at all. You prefer gold from a particular country of origin compared to others due to its innate brilliance, hue and of course, the value rather than snagging a quick 14k from Macy’s. You justify to yourself that the stitching of an Hermes bag or sandals is superior to what you can buy from Ross, hence the demanding price tag. Eating instant ramen was fine in high school or in college when you were trying to get by, thank goodness that the body tolerates and forgives when you are young. But now, you’re craving for Russian caviar and Italian truffles, or probably the best from-scratch, handmade ramen that you can get your hands on, at $35 a bowl. Yes. Trust me, I’ve done it in the past and didn’t regret a single slurp of the broth.
Your palate and diet changes
Part of evolving is seeking more of the clean eating diet, with the best unprocessed ingredients that you can get their hands on. I didn’t understand this at first and made a fool of myself when I announce that peope of age have the most boring diet:
Avocado and toast for breakfast rather than crispy and highly addictive belgian waffles with maple syrup.
Skinless chicken breast seasoned with pepper only, accompanied by steamed broccoli instead of KFC with biscuits and gravy.
Broiled sea bass with a simple salad against a fluffy and crispy beer-battered atlantic cod fish and chips.
Little did I know that consciously choosing to have a clean, simple and natural diet is not due to the lack of taste or culture. Rather, it is the ultimate medicine to take good care of one’s temple. And now, look at me enjoying the most basic oven broiled chicken thighs with a simple green salad filled with fruits and other vegetables. I feel like whenever I eat healthy, my body rewards me by giving Stanley good mood and energy for the day. And if I disobey—meaning, something that involves…Dominos Pizza… Stanley can guarantee that the next day will be hell. Bloating. Constipation. Indigestion. For those who can relate, shame on us. For those who cannot, don’t laugh. You’ll get there too. You’ll see.
In addition to dietary changes, our taste buds begin to seek stronger flavors such as peppery arugula, foie gras and botarga. I never thought that I would enjoy these delicacies now that I’m a fully grown man. Foie Gras, to me, is like a forbidden kid’s candy. If I don’t see it, I don’t crave it. But give me a whole torchon and I will find a way to finish it in record time. I can still remember how I despised Foie the first time I took a bite. It tasted like dead matter.
Hanging out with friends at home is better than clubbing
To begin with, I was never a club guy. I dreaded the clubbing scene. Moreover, I know somebody who was so involved into clubbing back when we were in college and little did I know that this individual would just sit down at a corner and get locked into his phone’s screen for the whole entire time. There’s too much pretending and trying to be somebody whom you’re not.
My solution is to invite my friends at home, cook for them and enjoy wonderful conversations while sipping a beverage of choice. What’s my typical Christmas celebration? Invite the closest people in my life at home for a party that involves hilarious and morally embarrassing adult games, drinks and amazing food. A5 wagyu and salmon aburi nigiri, wagyu sliders and focaccia bread just to name a few, are part of the party favorites. Now, that’s what I call a good time, which leads us to the next point:
that Good wine or alcohol isn’t just a beverage, it is your relationships
For those who are not fond of wine and alcohol, there’s a reason why… and I don’t blame you. I was one of those who vowed not to drink any. Since I am in the hospitality business, I had to break the bond. Wine changed the way I dine, wine changed the way I socialize, and wine changed who I want to be associated with. I’m not an irresponsible drinker. I make sure that I can handle myself after a good night of social drinking. Through wine, I found the beauty in nature, the passionate people behind the production, and the love that I have for my chosen career. If it weren’t for wine, I wouldn’t have met some of my most cherished relationships right now. A word of caution: when you drink, do not do it to impress and pretend to be someone you’re not. I know a couple of people who always present themselves with a glass or a bottle just to act like they’re “it”. Drink, because you understand and appreciate the process behind the craft, the memories that it creates, and the connections and opportunities that it presents.
Your circle of friends become smaller, but better.
Young adults freak out when they lose a friend. Adults, on the other hand, rejoice when they get rid of deceiving, opportunistic and manipulative acquaintances. Adulthood is associated with being surrounded by friends who will be there for you, who will be true and who will lift you up.
When the wine has set in and your senses have become dull, people begin to lower their guard down and initiate conversing from the heart. It’s such an organic experience. People say that whenever a drunk person tells you something, you better believe it! I kind of agree to this. Why?
Think about this…
If a person relies on alcohol to muster the guts to tell you something, then that message probably means a lot to them. This person is expecting an impaired and somewhat forgiving judgement from you since you are drunk and your mind is filled with dopamine.
Every adult will tell you that your circle of friends will become smaller and smaller as you advance through life. The most important aspect of this bitter-sweet transition is keeping the people that that truly matter. And for the rest? It’s nice to get in touch with them every once in a while.
Like they say, the only way to know how good of a person you’ve been is by counting the number of people that will attend your wake when you’re gone.
Spending more time with family, rather than proving yourself at work
The younger me wanted to prove myself to become a prominent figure in my field. The cost? 17-hour work days, 7-day work weeks, no time for important family celebrations and zero social life. That changed when I got married at the young age of twenty five. Well, as far as I know, nobody in their deathbed wished that they could’ve worked more. Nobody in their deathbed wished to have gotten the promotion that they dearly wanted by working harder. You can argue with me while you’re young and tell me that nothing great comes out of being ordinary. Yes, while those words speak the truth, it’s a matter of how you perceive and execute your actions that makes me different from you. It’s enough for me to know that certain people find me valuable as a person both in and out of work. You don’t need a whole stadium full of people to impress in order to get the validity and gratification that you seek.
The more I get older, the more I find ways to be involved in Thanksgiving celebrations (despite not being a fan of turkey), Christmas and New Year’s Eve. I’m not there yet completely, my career and my position as of now still demands me to be present and cook for guests rather than spending time with family. But whenever I get the chance, I take it.
I have become more adventurous
For my last point, I find that traveling is the perfect social activity that you can reward yourself as you age. Immersing yourself in a foreign culture is the best way to learn one, not by seeing it on tv. Learning and experiencing the food, traditions and other distinct practices of a country first-hand can tremendously help develop your social skills. Socializing is an activity that is highly important to adulting individuals to keep them relevant to society. When you travel, you meet new people, build new bonds and gain new skills on how to communicate effectively with different nationalities.
Moreover, the excitement of embarking on another adventure keeps you in-touch with your desires and aspirations. What I mean by that is, when you travel, you look forward to something, especially if you are still part of the workforce. Counting down the days until your travel time gives you this surreal feeling of excitement that you can’t contain. That organic feeling keeps you motivated and driven. When traveling, I always look forward to the learning that lies ahead, namely with the food, wine and historical art of a country. There’s nothing that compares to visiting a new country and exploring. The feeling that it gives me can’t be replaced by any luxury item, regardless of the price tag.
By the way, if you want to know why it’s important to travel, click here!
Summary
So there you have it folks. If you’re experiencing these transitions and changes in your life, then welcome to adulting. Embrace it and be open-minded. If you understand yourself, then it makes your life easy. Knowing your preferences will help you avoid wasting time and problems. Being in-tune with yourself as you navigate life will keep the fire in the heart and a smile on your face.
How about you? What changes have you been experiencing as you get older?