Temper
“A Quick Temper Will Make A Fool Of You Soon Enough”-Bruce Lee
As a chef, I thought that by being fluent to the ways of the kitchen, it will enable me to be a master of my craft. I realized that once you get to the top, managing people and managing yourself are far more important than anything. Because if you have a sound judgement and your emotions are in check during a busy service for example, then you know that you are well working under pressure.
Well, I just recently parted ways with my most recent workplace. Not because of not being able to handle the pressure, I’ve already been through the busiest season. I’ve already conquered all the challenges within a year of working there although I forgot to triumph over one thing, that is, my temper.
I will explain why without hiding anything.
August 2022, my wife and I began planning our European trip. We bought our plane tickets and booked our hotels and excursions. I told my wife that once we come back from this trip, I will start looking for other job opportunities that will push me to new heights and challenge myself. I would hit my year in October, the same month we are traveling, and it seems to me that staying for a year is enough working at this restaurant. Aside from that, I had a couple of job offers here and there that were too good to pass on, although since I haven’t finished my year, I paid respect and denied them. I did some tastings for a couple of restaurants as well just to see what I can make out of it. Months passed and our restaurant became slower and slower. We had a good life, the managers were working 30-45 hours. Where you can find that and still get paid top dollar? But at the age of 31, I’m not looking for something that feels like a retirement job. A job where you are settled and comfortable because it’s easy. If I were in my sixties and got nothing to worry anymore, I’d come back to work there just for the saving of being active. But as a young chef, I know I have to move on and challenge myself again.
There was an instance where I got so frustrated once with a food runner that I decided to walk out.
YES. I walked out as a sous chef. The runner was yelling at me while I was trying to fix a server error and my temper just got the hold of me and I began yelling back until it got to my head again that “Hey, I have Michelin pedigree, I don’t need this job.” So I grabbed the runner, put him on the expo position and told him “Here, run the pass.” I stormed inside the office where my exec chef and a chef de cuisine for an upcoming sister restaurant were killing their time as I yelled “Get out of my way!” They were all in shock, didn’t know what happened, I took my knife bag and left. I still had my job and came back after three days and got a promotion. My emotions got the best of me, mainly due to frustration. I never had this problem in California, Hong Kong or even at Cape Cod. Only here in Miami is where you will find kitchens being ran like a zoo, not every one of them.
A prior incident that I did the same disappointing gesture was when I was working at a very “famous” nightlife restaurant in Miami. Service was not even done and a manager with some runners were behind me chatting while I kept on shouting ( I have to shout because the music is loud in the restaurant) to start grabbing food from the pass and take them to the corresponding tables. Plain and logical, right? Nobody was paying attention and it’s so frustrating to repeat yourself for four times until I turned around and yelled “Hey, we’re not done yet and here you are fooling around. Nobody’s listening.” When you are a restaurant that does 1200-1500 covers a night, you expect that your staff would have laser-focus because one misdrop can ruin the entire service. Instead, these people do what they want and when somebody points it out unconventionally, they get offended. She told me “But you don’t have to get angry and yell.”
Why wouldn’t I get angry, when I’ve been on the expo, shouting for 7 straight hours perfectly cruising through 1200 covers while my throat starts to sore. I’m starting to be light-headed because of the blood that’s going through my head. Tell me, If you (as a manger), yourself can do the job that I can, then I can’t be angry. Because you know that it’s a difficult job.
It continued on by me saying “Then why don’t you run the kitchen yourself.” I grabbed my bag and left.
And for the third time in my life, I did it again. This time, over a damn ice cream. On a slow thursday night, a server approached me asking “Chef, there’s a lady who fell in love with our hot chocolate truffle with black truffle ice cream dessert that she wants to buy a tub of the ice cream to-go.” I calmly answered, C, we can’t do that because we don’t make it in tubs, we make a batch and portion them out into 2.5 inch x 1 inch blocks.”
Are you sure it cannot be done?
Yes, I’m sure. We don’t have it by the tub.
But the lady insists, she said she knows the owner (as always, people always pull this feat off)
I said, “No, C.”
After 8 minutes, the server came back to me saying that if we can’t sell it by the tub, then can we sell the individual portions. I said no. Little did this server know that once you take the ice cream out of the fridge, then it starts to melt, it’s the size of an eraser for christ’s sake, he begged for two more times. This server had a history of getting demoted back to a runner at some point because customers were complaining about the way he serves. Now, he got a second chance and is trying to go the extra mile (in the wrong way) to get additional tips.
The third time he came back, he brought a manager with him and this manager insisted on the same thing. he said, “we’ll put the ice cream in a box, give the client a couple of pieces, sell them for more money and boom, happy.” I said no. We kept on arguing until I told him, “J, why am I here for as an executive sous chef if you’re just going to do whatever you want to do? What’s my role then?” I told him that if he’s going to sell the ice cream, then I’ll leave and let him run the kitchen.” And so that’s what happened. The next day, news got to ownership and the story got twisted. He told them that I initially wanted to sell the ice cream and took my word back and refused to sell it after. Would you believe that? So, since I’m always honest about my word, I confirmed to ownership that everything that happened was true except for that part of me initially saying yes and taking my word back. They even told me that they don’t want to lose me and were willing to offer me a different position that will not “let the executive chef lose face or undermine him” but I will be more in-charge of the culinary side of things since I am not the most “composed”. He was beginning to plant a seed in my head about “not undermining the chef” and something about “saving his face". I didn’t entertain the offer, nor even asked anything about it. I told them that it’s been a year, I’ve been through all the seasons, It’s time to say goodbye. I also told them that I am an honest person, I stand by my decision of not selling the ice cream because it was not logical to sell a tiny ice cream that would melt on the way home. I’m sorry that I walked out but I will be another company’s asset, there’s already somebody waiting for me, thank you.
A couple of things that realized are:
1) I am very disappointed not with anyone but myself regarding my recurring action of walking out. It’s just so degrading and does not reflect what a good manager should be like. It was my bad. This is the last time I am going to do this poor gesture, ever. I will control my temper and set as example to my team.
2) Another thing is that I would never undermine who ever is on top of me for the sake of keeping my job, I’m not that guy. So, if You are reading this, this is what happened.
3) Next, is that I stand my ground without regretting anything. I would not sell ice cream that I know will not reach their home in the condition that it should be. Being trained under Michelin pedigree, I still take pride in having standards and not just ordinary standards, LOGICAL standards. If cheesecake factory sells you a scoop of their ice cream, then by all means, go there. I wouldn’t allow it especially if I work in a restaurant that charges two, three or four times the price for every bill when you come in and dine. I want my guests to enjoy my food right then and there where it is in the condition I intend it to be and I can see them eat it.
4) It is so “Miami” for people to just take your money without thinking about the consequences of what they can cause. That’s the reason why Miami has not been known as a culinary destination for a long time. Unfortunately, the restaurants that thrive financially the most, are the ones that really do a poor job when it comes to their culinary and service programs. It’s either the food is sub par or not even worth remembering and yet they rake up north of $20M to $40M / year. Then, chances are that despite working as a combined food runner and server for three to four years, your server still doesn’t memorize the menu allergy matrix. Front of the house managers just make themselves look nice, play games on their phones and not do anything. They can’t even train their co-manager and can’t even order their own supply of to-go containers and toiletries for the guest’s rest rooms. The training that goes into some of these “high volume restaurants” are so disappointing that would sometimes make you want to scratch your face with our nails buried deep down. NOT ALL OF THEM. I’ve heard good things about a couple of places, and they deliver. The really good restaurants who make a name for themselves and deliver more than what is expected out of them are small to medium-size enterprises that take your breath away the moment you take the first bite.
I’ve never had an issue with this type of foolishness when I worked in Michelin star restaurants. The first line of defense is the Front of the House Manager, s/he knows the limits of the restaurant. We go the extra mile but if the request seems way too extreme, then we will reject with a firm no. Secondly, if it is doable but s/he is not sure, then that’s the time s/he asks the chef. Now the chef has more authority when it comes to what COMES OUT OF HIS/HER KITCHEN. WHATEVER COMES OUT OF HIS/HER KITCHEN WILL FALL ON HIS/HER SHOULDERS. Any stupid mistake can be detrimental. There’s not a lot of questioning, the manager asks, if s/he says no, then that’s the end of the conversation. And quite frankly, people who go to Michelin star restaurants in general are just more educated people when it comes to gastronomy. So, they will not even bother asking for foolish requests.
We were trained to follow and everything works. On the other hand, it is only in this type of new concept nightlife restaurants where it is a free for all. It’s a battle ground between the kitchen (who is always suffering) vs. the front of the house (who seem to act like they know what they are doing). You can’t say no to a request of a slice of banana with ketchup and gravy on top. Why not? We’ll just charge them $30 for that. Easy.The chef is just a kitchen manager, a puppet. Have you ever checked one of these restaurants’ website? They don’t even have a page dedicated for their chefs because the chef is not important. S/He’s just their to manage costs and maintain food quality and that’s it. There’s no pride that comes into working these restaurants like Michelin stars spots do. They only pay well, that’s for sure.
4) And lastly, this transition was due coming, it was meant to happen because if it didn’t happen, then it would be harder for me to part ways. Leaving will now start to push me out of my comfort zone and start to make my mind active again and think about how I can make a better living. This will entail mastering something again.
I’m thankful that I have this mindset, for some people get way too emotionally attached to their co-workers while some are settled with the comfort that they are currently experiencing and they tell themselves “Hey, I’m fine here now.” I don’t blame them, we all come from different backgrounds. As long as it works for somebody, then there’s no reason to do otherwise. But like I keep on saying in my previous articles, time is so precious, you can’t waste it. You have to move and reach for the stars before the time comes that you can’t extend your arm anymore. I love the feeling of being able to conquer something. It makes you stronger and satisfied. That’s what I am looking for.
In summary, good things are coming my way. I have failed as a character but I’m standing up again, wiping off any dirt that got on me. I’ve learnt my mistakes but I am ready to move on. I’m excited for this new challenge that I am about to take. I am well rested and have a sound mind. I’ve enjoyed the sun while I was away of the kitchen and I cannot say that I didn’t like it. I look younger as well because my skin cleared out of all the nasty oil trapped in my face. If you’re curious where I am headed, well, it’s the obvious choice, somewhere where I could sell ice- cream to-go.
Cheesecake Factory, just kidding.